The story to live by

Every person’s life is a story worthy of a book. Every life story, when told properly, can be interesting and inspiring, because the stories we live by can shape our destiny and impact others.

“That being said, what is your life story? What makes it worth telling? What do you want to tell about your life? What is the story you live by?”

I have asked myself the above questions for a long time.  It would be difficult to proceed with my memoir if I could not give an honest answer to these nagging questions. Here is may answner.

There are three levels to my story: psychological, cultural and spiritual.

My memoir is a story of an idealist who struggles to pursue a seemingly impossible dream against incredible odds in a hostile world. It is a story of the defiant human spirit in search of meaning and fulfillment in the face of powerful oppositions.

My life story is also part of the larger drama of the Chinese Diaspora – the fears and hopes of oversea Chinese struggling to survive and take root in a foreign land amid discrimination and rejection.

But the most important aspect of my life is about the Big Story of God invading human history and breaking into my broken life. What makes my life story worth telling is not my achievement but God’s amazing work in my life. He rescued me from the nadir of despair, placed me on a higher ground and called me to serve those who suffer.

Life is a constant battle, especially for all those who aspire to live on a higher plane and for a higher purpose. Yes, there is always the human struggle to cope with the stresses of life and satisfy the never ending yearnings for happiness and success. However, the larger and deeper conflicts take place in the spiritual realm. To manage the constant interactions between the natural and supernatural way of life can be very challenging.

Waling by faith means learning to walk in total darkness, not knowing what the next step will bring, but willing to obey to His leading, whatever the costs.

Living by grace means learning to experience God’s sufficiency and love even at times of total helplessness and hopelessness.

It takes a lifetime to learn these two basic spiritual principles and the most valuable lessons can only be learnt in adversities. The most poignant moments in my life are also those sacred moments when God meets with me in my brokenness and weaknesses.

Time and time again, I have gone through long periods of darkness and doubts, but God has never failed to sustain me and see me through the crisis. Towards the end of a long and hard journey, I can honestly say that a life of faith and obedience to God is worth all the struggles and sufferings.

The problems will not vanish, the pressures will remain, but through all the difficulties and pains, I can “count it all joy” because I am part of His glorious story. That is enough for me.

I hope that after reading my life story, you will be able to answer the same questions: “What is your life story? What makes it worth telling? What do you want to tell about your life? What is the story you live by?”

 

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The Global Love of Life Award

Recently, Professor Harriet Wu from Fugung University emailed me, asking me where I got the energy to work long hours every day. I replied that whenever I felt exhausted, one look at the Global Love of Life Award from the Ta-Kuan Chou Foundation was sufficient to give me a surge of energy. I cannot let Ta-Kuan Chou down, in whose memory the Love of Life Award was created.

If a 10-young boy with terminal cancer and an amputated leg could write poems that inspire millions, how could I simply give up on life when I can still walk? That’s why I have readily accepted the CTK Foundation’s invitation to publish my autobiography in connection with receiving their annual Global Love of Life Medal.

 Even in the dead of night, the voice of Ta-Kuan never fails to reignite a small spark in my heart and rekindle my love of life. Here is one the many poems authored by him:

Doctor is the judge,

sentencing me to death,

but I am a patient not a criminal

I want to bravely go on living.

 He reminds of Terry Fox, who too lost one leg because of caner. He spent his last year running to raise money for cancer research.

As I remember Ta-Kuan and Terry Fox, I posted a short poem on Facebook recently:

Run, run, run

on two legs or one

Rain or shine

Winding road

Or uphill path

Breath in hope

Breath out love

Run, run, run

No matter where and when
The road comes to an end.

To live is to strive.  To live a purpose-driven life is to overcome obstacles and run the risk of failure and injury.

The alternative is unthinkable. What would life be like, if it is bereft of a vision? Life without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder. Life without struggles would be no different from a living dead.

Now that I have received a stay of execution, a new lease on life, I need to go on living with the same spirit as Ta-Kuan.

To love life fully is to say Yes to life, even when you are at the lowest point and in the darkest hour of your life. To love life is to value all lives and embrace whatever life offers till you breathe your last.

I may not live long enough to see the fruit of my labor, but I can at least sow seeds of hope and love, and spread a tiny light in the dark.

Born for adversity and saved for a purpose

Writing an autobiography is a challenging task. I am old enough to write a memoir, but that is not a strong enough reason. My life takes on significance only when it is embedded in a larger story.

I have lived through seven decades of tumultuous changes – eight years of Sino-Japanese war, four years of civil war, refuge in Hong Kong, 3 years of Korean War, migration to Canada and the many years of struggle to get established in a host country. 

My life story is how to be a first-class human being, when others treat you as a second-class citizen, how to glorify God even when others malign you.

 I have been beaten but not broken. I have been to hell and back. I have been knocked down and counted out many times, but I have always managed to bounce back. I have learned to survive and flourish by embracing pain and death for a higher purpose. I have learned how to love life even when it bites.

The psalmist wrote: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart.”  (Psalm 37:4). God has indeed kept his promise, but His gift is costly. We can hold on to God’s promise only by letting go the self and the world. 

When I gaze into the dark sky, the stars smile back at me. The dark night of dying to the self and moving forth towards to fulfilling God’s calling is liberating.  I feel that my life has been purified, strengthened and enriched by the dark night of the soul.  How do we know our folly and hollowness until everything is stripped away from us? How can we learn the peace and joy of oneness with God until we are wounded on life’s busy highway?

I have found a hiding place, an inner sanctuary, unimpeded by the devil. There, my soul is at rest, enjoying the sweet blessing of oneness with God and nature.

Awareness of impending death has become a powerful motivation to love life and live each day with a clear sense of purpose. Death awakens our love of life more than all the promises of success.

I cease to exist, if I stop proclaiming the good news of faith, love and hope to the suffering masses with my deeds, words and being.  That is sufficient reason to share my life story.

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The Global Love of Life award was presented to me by Ambassador David Lee  and Prof. Shu-Mei Chang Chou who represents the Ta-Kuan Chou Foundation at the 5th Biennial International Meaning Conference in Toronto. Click here for the full story.

Here are few photos taken on that occasion.

The event was mentioned in the APA Monitor http://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/04/personalities.aspx

http://www.ta.org.tw/97news/970725.html and  http://www.insidetoronto.com/insidetoronto/article/60798

 It was covered by major Chinese Newspapers, such as 星岛日报 Sintao Daily ( singtao) and   世界日报多伦多新闻 World Journal
( www.worldjournal.com) and Chinese TV stations in Toronto.
 www.taiwanngo.tw
http://vip.book.sina.com.cn/book/chapter_147320_100543.html (This is one of the chapters in my brother
Joshua Wong's autobiography)

Prologue

Loving Life Even When It Hurts: Memoir of an Outsider


It is not easy for me to write my story because I have experienced more failures than successes, more rejections than acceptance, and more bad days than good days during various periods of my life. In short, I don't have a success story, nor do I know the secret of how to achieve the American dream of 'from rags to riches.'

Another predicament I face is how to recount my ordeals without implicating certain organizations or individuals who have done great harm to me. The only way I can do it is to recount those terrible events with a forgiving spirit and a loving heart, with the hope that others may benefit from my painful experiences.

You may wonder: Why call yourself an outsider? Because I know all about being on the fringe from a lifetime of experience.

It is never pleasant to be on the outside looking in, especially when it is cold and dark.
It hurts when you get rejected without any valid reason.

What can you do when you are told:
No, your are from China and you speak with a strong accent.
No, you are not good enough.
No, you are too outspoken.
No, your ideas are different from ours.
No, no reason necessary.

I wish I could say that I have reached the level of spiritual maturity where I can simply walk away and wipe the dust from my feet without any hurt feelings. I wish I could say that I have learned the secret of the Apostle Paul who was able to count gain as loss and loss as gain. I am not there yet but I have learned how to transform those hurt feelings into a positive force for change. If the world is not fair, why not fight for justice? If life is full of suffering, why not strive with all your might to reduce suffering and enhance well-being?

The rejections are not always explicitly stated, but the end results are the same: exclusion and marginalization. But I have to keep on knocking and keeping on believing because my life story can be summed up in one phrase: in search of the good life for all.

The needs are great, and my days are few.  There is so much to be done. When night falls, I can no longer work. I am willing to pay any price to be the salt and light of the world, but I cannot achieve this life goal by being hidden in a cellar. Therefore, I will go anywhere and do anything within power to spread the message of changing the world from inside out.

On one of those bad days, I would say to myself: "Well, you just have to accept the fact that you are an unlucky person. The stars must have aligned ominously when you were born."

How else can you explain the fact that my birth ushered in the Japanese invasion and its horrible aftermath? How else can you explain the many misfortunes that you can find in my story?

But on one of the good days, I would say that I am a lucky person because I have experienced more answered prayers and learned more lessons than most people, and I am blessed with a devoted wife and two good sons: one an entertainment lawyer and another a Harvard professor. The most precious lessons I have learned are how to love life even when it hurts and how to create your own games when others exclude you for dubious reasons. 

I am a preacher without a pulpit, but the world is my mission field. I am a professor without research grants and students, but the universe is my university.  I don't have the necessary resources, but I have learned to do my best with whatever I have. So, with all my limitations and imperfections, I am telling the story of an imperfect life transformed by grace.

What really motivates me to undertake this big project is in the hope that that my life story may bring encouragement, comfort, and joy to all those who are struggling with their fears and pains, and who are searching for the good life.